Priya Raj
Mr.Bigelow English 10 April 10, 2014 The Unforgettable A relationship in = society is a big deal. . People interact with the ones they love and they care for.[GB1] In the book Night by Elie Wiel he talks about how the holocaust impacted family relationships. The most important relationship is told in the memoir is between Elie and his father.[GB2] Family appears frequently throughout the book. A woman named Mr[GB3] s. Schachter and her son were shoved into the train cars. On the first day of the journey, she had already lost her mind. As she was predicting what was to come, her son tried his hardest to calm her down and hold her hands. When they finally arrive at the concentration camps the women, men and children are separated. Elie thought “I didn’t know that this was the moment in time and the place where I was leaving my mother and Tzipora forever”. (29) . All that was left to do was to carry on with his father[GB4] . The father and son role was more of respect than[GB5] love. In the beginning the relationship Elie had with his father wasn’t strong. Elie wanted to study Kabbalah but his father refused to allow it. Respecting him he did as he was told[GB6] . In the separation between his mother and sister the father grabs Elie’s hand and pulls him into line. As they wash up Elie glances at his father and notices how much he’s changed in one single night! He wanted to tell him something, but he didn’t know what(37[GB7] ). Once the weeks pass the relationship grows. An example is when he mentions the gold tooth to his father (55[GB8] ). Elie cared about what his father throughout the book because that’s all he cared[GB9] about. There was no other reason for living anymore but for his father. It became so strong that father replaced god when he lost his faith. Elie would look out for his father and his father would look out for him. Learning to march was truly one thing that helped them become closer. Elie decided to give his father lessons in marching in step, in keeping in time. Even though inmates would make fun of them calling them names and good for nothing, Elie still wanted to help (55). The endwas near when the Russian army was about to come, and Elie had a choice. His father who was silent let Eliezer make the decision on whether to stay or leave with the others. But he said “let’s hope we won’t regret it Eliezer” (82). Trust becomes very important to them because that’s all they had left just him and his father[GB10] . When the march had just begun and winter seemed to be whipping them to death Elie tried to keep his father safe. Giving up his father lay curled in a ball on the ground .Elie says ,“come father, let’s go back to the shed it’ll be better there. You’ll be able to lie down.” (89) [GB11] When in the shed a Rabbi asks if anyone had seen his son or where he could be found. Loosing family meant losing faith so he left, as he had come, a shadow swept away by the wind. Once on a train again his father huddles around him with his blanket but not moving. What if he were dead? He called out to him but no response. In panic he starts hitting his father to wake him up! He cried out “Father! Father! Wake up. They’re going to throw you outside!” (99) At last his father opened his eyes and was breathing faintly. He realized losing his father meant no reason to live. [GB1]You have a couple of good sentences that introduce the topic: relationships. But you should develop these more during revisions [GB2]Your claim states that the most important relationship was the one between Elie and his father. The prompt already tells you that. Your claim needs to explain how this relationship functions and state why it is important. Fix during revisions [GB3]Topic sentence should be more specific- it really should focus on the relationship between Elie and his father [GB4]You finally come to father at the end of the paragraph. Remember to make this relationship your primary focus [GB5]When? [GB6]No he didn’t. He found a master for himself [GB7]Punctuation goes after citation [GB8]You should be using direct evidence (word for word quotes) [GB9]Is this true? [GB10]This paragraph summarizes a lot of the things that happen to Elie and his father, but it doesn’t have any focus. It wanders You need better topic sentences and a stronger claim to keep you on topic [GB11]Fix punctuation |
This year in English 10 i learned how to write poems,college essays and Read life lesson books. Bigelow gave long lecture about how to write correct journal types and put that into a paper.
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